YUI - Again

The Music

I first heard this song as the intro to Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. While the arrangement of the original is pretty standard 'kickass action anime' fare, the song stuck with me as a particularly energetic and hadn't gotten old by the time the show stopped using it. I was tempted to learn the song mostly for the challenge of actually singing it - I've been speaking Japanese for a couple years now, and I still had to practice over and over to actually get all of those syllables to fall out of my mouth somewhat coherently. Despite continually telling myself I was just going to learn the song and be done with it, I had so much fun with it that I wound up going through all the trouble of doing a full arrangement video.

Since the original pretty much aced the whole "hit-you-in-the-face power chords / use compression on the compression" style of rock arrangement, I decided to go for a more mellow rendition, while trying to maintain the energy of the original. Also, I wanted to do something with the flute, which I started learning a few months ago. It turns out that there's actually a pretty big gap between "hey, I can sort of play this instrument" and "I could totally improvise and record a soaring solo on this instrument", but once I started I was too stubborn to quit. The piece was also a source of great lessons in flute arranging (like "nobody uses a flute duo in a rock song cover, so you can get away with arbitrary, poor arrangement choices").

The Language

For reference, the original lyrics and the translation given in the video are avaiable at the bottom of the page.

At least to the perspective of this struggling gaijin, contemporary Japanese song lyrics are like Classical Chinese: they're easy to understand, as long as you already understand them. I know the words, I know the grammar, and yet even as I sing along, thinking I understand in Japanese, I find myself wondering "Wait, was that a sentence? Did that actually express a thought or did it just sound cool?" So needless to say, I'm not making any claims as to the accuracy of my translation. That said, unless otherwise noted, my translation should pretty much convey the meaning of the original. Here are my notes on the process, for those of you learning Japanese or wondering what gets lost in translation.

This song uses a lot of contractions and pretty casual speech. This helps with the singing faster than I can think, the 'cool, exciting' style, and confusing foreigners. の no gets shortened to ん n left and right and vowels between words are often thrown out. If you don't undersatnd something in the lyrics and I don't comment on it, just assume it's some kind of shortening or slang rendition. Now, taking it stanza by stanza:

The first stanza is pretty straightforward, and it features the word magarikunetta "winding and twisting", which as far as I can tell is included by law in every other song any Japanese person wants to write. The meaning of hito ni tsumazuku "stumble on/through people" is somewhat unclear, hence my loose rendition about being lost in a crowd. I think the idea, in any case, is that the singer was distracted from the dream he should have been pursuing by other people and circumstances in life.

The second stanza's first line has a nuance that I couldn't really get across. The time to which the singer is not expressing desire to return to is presented as a sort of quote. A more idiomatic, if less accurate translation might be "It's not that I'm thinking 'ah, for those good old days'".

Something that sometimes trips up Japanese students is the way ように yō ni is used in e.g. the third stanza. Overly literally, the line there means something like "In the manner / condition of (you) understanding for me", which doesn't seem complete. The absent but implied completion is something like onegaishimasu "I wish / humbly request". In shrines in Japan you'll see lots of ema, wooden plaques with wishes written on them. They invariably end in ように, with the "I wish" implied and understood. Hence, "I hope you'll understand."

The next line (犠牲になったような悲しい顔はやめてよ) is also a great example of the versatility of Japanese grammar. The second half on its own is "quit (making) that sad face", but "sad face" (kanashii kao) is also described by the modifying phrase gisei ni natta yō na, where yō na means roughly "having the appearance of", with "appearance" itself being described by the embedded sentence gisei ni natta "became a victim / sacrifice". So if you really want the full sense of the original, try "stop making that sad face that looks like you've become a victim!". Except, you know, the original sounds good. The word 犠牲 gisei is also a wonderful example of the Japanese kanji system working well and logically (which does happen occasionally, I choose to believe). The right half of each character is itself a common character, respectively 義 and 生, whose well-known onyomi pronunciations are gi and sei. The left half of each character is 牛 ushi, meaning "cow" -- hence, a sacrifice. With the sound-characters even meaning "life" and "duty", an apparently complex word becomes beautifully sensible. Keep this in mind the next time you're cursing that common kanji you thought you knew for having a rare twelfth pronunciation.

The next stanza has some great words. The adjective 苦しい kurushii is defined "painful, difficult", but it's more... bitter? Grueling? It's painful for your soul. It's often used to describe 人生　jinsei, which is life. In the song it's used adverbally with the verb 背負う seou, which combines 背 "back" with 負う "to bear", making it a good colorful word. And thus the phrase is more "I've been painfully bearing (it) on my back (metaphorically)", where "it" is... sin? Tears? Whatever you imagine it to be. Specifying your verb arguments is for wimps.

"As if on a blank slate" is a loose translation. The original is more like "As if spelled out in a blank notebook". It could also be "white notebook", but that seems unlikely unless white notebooks have some obscure cultural significance. ...I'm pretty sure that's not the case. Also, I threw out motto "more", as in "I want to spit it all out more honestly", because it didn't fit well into the English.

The chorus of this song is designed specifically to laugh at unprepared translators. You could plausibly render it in anywhere from three to eight sentences and get different meaning each time. I'm sure some day I'll look back and laugh at how easy it should have been, but I prefer to tell myself that it's just not supposed to make clear sense. It's like an impressionist painting... throw the ideas out there and let the brain do the connecting work. Actually, given that this is Japanese, that may very well be what's really happening. A summary of my shortcomings here:

• I made up "desire". It's just "I live to fulfill / grant". Fulfill... something.
• I'm not totally convinced やってられない is actually made of words. They relate to 無難になんて, meaning "(to/in/from/at) (things like) the absense of / safety from hardships". My best guess would be that the verb is actually "can't do", in not-quite-recognizable form. Also there's a "because" on the end, because why not?
• Keshite shimau ni wa is actually almost certainly "in order to wipe out this hope / thought", but since I couldn't relate that to the next line (or anything else), I decided that it meant the opposite. Maybe that was implied.
• 懐かしい natsukashii is a great adjective, usually defined as "nostalgic", but it's not quite that... when something reminds you of something dear to you, or when you miss something, or when you get a flash of good memories, it's natsukashii. In this case it's in the form "becomes / will become natsukashii". Again, as to what becomes natsukashii I defer to your judgement, though it's worth pointing out that in Japanese one often says an adjective to express one is feeling the feeling associated with that adjective, without explicitly describing anything with it. But "I'm becoming nostalgic" would be an awkward translation to rival bootleg fansubs.
• The chorus is littered with some "also"s and "though"s and "because"s that just didn't add up to me. I took the liberty of denying their existence. I imagine this is not a terribly uncommon practice in translation.
• Finally, "on the bounds of memory" is how I rendered what's much more like "that's about to be forgotten", though I'm actually happy with that one.

The fun part of Japanese is that while I was singing the chorus I totally believed what I was saying.

Some inevitable lost nuance comes from the lack of good translation for mama "the ongoing / unchanging condition". The singer didn't just make the listener worry; they burdened them with worries and left them that way. Regarding umaku ienakute "I can't / couldn't say (it) well / skillfully", that could be that the singer can't find the words now, though I think it's more that they exasperated the listener's worry by being unable to express things in a comforting or tactful manner.

I'm not sure what to make of kakaeru in the next two lines. Its usual meaning is to carry or hold close, typically under the arms, or by extention to have or engage. Of course nobody bothers to specify the object of this verb (well, aside from that it's 全部 zenbu "everything"), and it's not even clear who the subject is. I think the singer is still describing the listener, remarking on everything they had to endure or accept -- the singer acknowledges placing a heavy burden on the listener which they must continue to place. But this is not the only interpretation. As for junban tsuketari wa shinai kara, I'm really not sure. It's "since I won't do (something)", and junban means "sequential order". Tsuketari could mean "addition", but I'm not sure. Perhaps "(since) I'm not going to keep adding things (burdens?) one after another"? Something like that. Which, by the way, is my mantra for the next two stanzas. I have nothing to add on those, other than to implore those of you who realize I'm filling in a lot of blanks with "let's go with that" to clue me on what's really going on (or let me in on the secret that these are really just partially formed thoughts ripped from a journal).

Instead of using the Japanese word for heart (心 kokoro), the song uses hāto, literally the English word "heart". This is often done because in Japanese, English sounds cool. Beyond that, I'm afraid I don't have a sense of the difference in nuance. Also, a more literal translation is "As if my red heart was irritated", but that sounds silly.

Kitai shite n'no could be "have expectations about", perhaps... the inconsiderate song has contracted the words here well beyond comprehension. By English speakers, anyway.

Finally, 目を覚ませ me wo samase is more idiomatically "wake up", but "open up your eyes" fit over the original melody so well that not only did I have to translate it that way, I had to sing it that way too.

Looking back, this song... has a lot of lyrics. I suppose that could be why it took me so long to do. Learning it was a great challenge, though a bit unsatsifying in that there were only one or two words I didn't know; the real challenge in understanding was in figuring out the difference between "this is intentionally ambiguous or most likely implies that" and "this does not even resemble a sentence, and this language hates me". Ah, but if I didn't want to grapple with challenges like that, Japanese would not have been the right choice. Perhaps once my brain has finally stepped away from this song it will all click as a cohesive whole and I'll be able to replace this entire document with a single, brilliant, all-encompassing theme statement. Or maybe it's just a string of thoughts and half-thoughts and that's alright, because I have to say... it sounds really cool.

Lyrics

The original lyrics of "Again", along with romanization and a mostly accurate, non-lyrical translation. Note that the translation is sentence-by-sentence, not line-by-line.

夢の続き 追いかけていたはずなのに 曲がりくねった 細い道人につまずく	Yume no tsuzuki oikakete ita hazu na no ni Magarikunetta hosoi michi hito ni tsumazuku	I should have been chasing after my dream But I've stumbled lost in the crowd on this long, winding road
あの頃みたいにって 戻りたいわけじゃないよ 無くしてきた空を 探してる	Ano koro mitai ni tte modoritai wake janai yo Nakushite kita sora wo sagashiteru	It's not that I wish I could go back to old times I'm just searching for the sky I've lost
分かってくれますように 犠牲になったような 悲しい顔は やめてよ	Wakatte kuremasu yō ni gisei ni natta yō na kanashii kao wa yamete yo	I hope you'll understand Wipe that sad, victimized look off your face!
罪の最後は涙じゃないよ ずっと苦しく背負ってくんだ 出口見えない感情迷路に 誰を待ってるの	Tsumi no saigo wa namida janai yo Zutto kurushiku seottekun'da Deguchi mienai kanjō meiro ni dare wo matteru no?	Sin doesn't end with the tears I've been carrying the pain with me all along In this maze of emotion with no way out in sight, who am I waiting for?
白いノートに綴ったように もっと素直に吐き出したいよ 何から逃れたいんだ 現実ってやつ	Shiroi nōto ni tsuzutta yō ni motto sunao ni hakidashitai yo Nani kara nogaretain'da genjitsu tte yatsu	As if on a blank slate I want to spit it all out honestly What is it I want to run away from? Is it... "reality"?
Chorus 叶えるために 生きてるんだって 忘れちゃいそうな 夜の真ん中 無難になんて やってられないから 帰る場所もないの この思いを 消してしまうには まだ人生長いでしょ 懐かしくなる こんな痛みも歓迎じゃん	Kanaeru tame ni ikiterun'datte Wasurechai sō na yoru no mannnaka Bunan ni nante Yatterarenai kara Kaeru basho mo nai no Kono omoi wo keshite shimau ni wa mada jinsei nagai deshō Natsukashiku naru Konna itami mo kangei jan	I live to fulfill this desire in the middle of this night on the bounds of memory I can't take the easy way out I don't have anywhere to turn back to Even if this hope is wiped out isn't life still long? It's all coming back to me... I welcome this pain!
謝らなくちゃ いけないよな　ごめんね うまく言えなくて 心配かけたままだったね	Ayamaranakucha ikenai yo na gomen ne umaku ienakute shinpai kaketa mama datta ne	I have to apologize... I'm sorry I could never find the right words, and I've made you worry
あの日かかえた全部 明日かかえる全部 順番つけたりは しないから	Ano hi kakaeta zenbu Ashita kakaeru zenbu Junban tsuketari wa shinai kara	Everything you accepted that day... Everything you'll accept tomorrow... I'm not going to make a list
分かってくれますように そっと目を閉じたんだ 見たくないものまで 見えんだもん	Wakatte kuremasu yō ni sotto me wo tojitan'da mitakunai mono made mien'da mon	I hope you'll understand I slowly closed my eyes, and I can't see see the things I don't want to see
いらない噂にちょっと 始めて聞く発言どっち ２回あったら友達だって 嘘はやめてね	Iranai uwasa ni chotto hajimete kiku hatsugen docchi Ni kai attara tomodachi datte uso wa yamete ne	I don't need these rumors Who heard them first? Meeting twice makes us friends? Spare me your lies
赤いハートが苛立つように 身体ん中燃えているんだ 本当は期待してんの 現実ってやつ	Akai hāto ga iradatsu yō ni Karada n'naka moete irun'da Hontō wa kitai shite n'no genjitsu tte yatsu	As if my heart was angered my body's burning up inside I truly had hope about this thing called "reality"
叶えるために 生きてるんだって 叫びたくなるよ 聞こえていますか 無難になんて やってられないから 帰る場所もないの 優しさには いつも感謝してる だから強くなりたい 進むために 敵も味方も歓迎じゃん	Kanaeru tame ni ikiterun'datte Sakebitaku naru yo kikoete imasu ka Bunan ni nante Yatterarenai kara Kaeru basho mo nai no Yasashisa ni wa Itsumo kansha shiteru dakara tsuyoku naritai Susumu tame ni teki mo mikata mo kangei jan	I live to fulfill this desire I want to shout can you hear me? I can't take the easy way out I don't have anywhere to turn back to I'm always thankful for your kindness so I want to become strong In order to move forward... Friends, enemies, I welcome them both
どうやって次のドア 開けるんだっけ考えてる もう引き返せない 物語始まってるんだ 目を覚ませ 目を覚ませ	Dō yatte tsugi no doa Akeru n'da kke kangaeteru Mō hikikaesenai Monogatari hajimatteru n'da Me wo samase Me wo samase	How do I open the next door? I'm wondering... I can't turn back... the story has begun Open up your eyes Open up your eyes
この思いを 消してしまうには まだ人生長いでしょ やり残してること やり直してみたいから もう一度ゆこう	Kono omoi wo keshite shimau ni wa mada jinsei nagai deshō Yarinokoshiteru koto Yarinaoshite mitai kara Mō ichi do yukō	Even if this hope is wiped out isn't life still long? I want to try to make right all the things that can still be made right Once more, let's go!
(Repeat 1st chorus)

© 2012 Larry Kenny